


The Scientific Name for Ferrets is Annoying

by Blistering_Typhoons



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Bilbo Baggins Has the Patience of a Saint, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Relationship, because poor Thorin, evil ferrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 19:52:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15420378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blistering_Typhoons/pseuds/Blistering_Typhoons
Summary: After a series of unfortunate events CEO Thorin Oakenshield ends up having to share a house with baker Bilbo Baggins, which he doesn't mind one bit as Bilbo is gorgeous.What he does mind is Bilbo's ferret, Smaug. Especially when it escapes one night.





	The Scientific Name for Ferrets is Annoying

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a true story that happened an hour ago.
> 
> Forgive any mistakes as it is currently 5 in the morning.
> 
> Enjoy!

The cage looms ominously over Thorin and the creature inside stares at him with evil black eyes. Thorin swallows and watches as the beast stretches up against the bars, only to flop back down again.

"Oh that's Smaug!", Bilbo's melodious voice floats over to him. Thorin turns around to see the baker standing in the hallway, regarding the ferret with a small smile.

"Smaug? Like the dragon?", Thorin drawls and once again faces the tiny thing who was looking at Thorin curiously.

Bilbo laughs.

"Yes, I believe they have the same personality at times as well", Bilbo chuckles and Thorin struck with an image of tiny Smaug breathing fire. 

Looking back at the ferret, Thorin can see it actually happening.

Suddenly there's a small hand on his shoulder and Thorin tenses up slightly as warmth floods through his chest.

"Are you scared of him?", Bilbo asks gently.

"No."

A slight pause.

"Maybe just wary, that is all."

Bilbo chuckles lightly before squeazing Thorin's shoulder and beckoning him to the kitchen.

"He only comes out a few times a day and when that happens he'll be in my room", Bilbo informs him over the din of the kettle and the clanging of cups and plates. Thorin breathes a small sigh of relief.

"And he only escaped once or twice when he was little."

Well, that was reassuring.

***

And so for the next few days Thorin avoided Smaug for as much as possible, which really wasn't that difficult. Bilbo did not prompt anything and only had a soft and amused expression on his face everytime Thorin scurried into his room, muttering apologies and a few curses.

Until tonight.

Due to an unfortunate accident that broke his bed, a.k.a. Smaug, Bilbo had insisted that Thorin keep his own bed. Thorin would not hear of it and after much negotiating Bilbo reluctantly agreed that Thorin sleep on one of the couches in the living room.

Thorin shifts around and although the couch is not inherently uncomfortable, Smaug's cage was right across from him. Thorin can see the ferrets glassy eyes staring at him and he grunts and turns away.

He has a sneaking suspicion he's not going to sleep tonight, but Bilbo's calming tones and reassuring words echo aroun his head. Soon enough his eyes are closing and his breathing evens out.

***

Thorin doesn't know why he's awake. He groans and brushes a lock of hair out of his face. He feels something sniff at his feet and he smirks and giggles slightly.

"Durin, get off boy", he mumbles and kicks gently.

He hears paws shuffling and something in the back of his mind is telling him something is very wrong, he just doesn't know what.

Soon enough there's a sniffing sensation by his head and Thorin moans in annoyance.

He reaches around blindly and grabs by his hair. He touches something short, greasy and not Durin.

Dread floods his stomach and lifting his head he turns slowly to look behind him. Two black, soulless eyes stare back at him, nose twitching as it sniffs the air.

Smaug had escaped.

"Oh shit! Bilbo! BILBO!", Thorin yells as Smaug launches himself. Thorin nearly shrieks and gently tries to bat the furry hellion away. 

Smaug flops off the couch, only to rise again and jump around Thorin. He can't even laugh at the fact that his worst fear is tripping over it's own paws, as he's too busy trying to construct a fort out of pillows and his duvet.

Given Thorin's current state, that does not work out and the pillows all fall harmlessly to the ground, which succeeds in giving Smaug leverage onto the couch.

It's at that moment that Bilbo appears, hair a mess and a flashlight in hand.

"Thorin?! What's wrong!?", Bilbo inquires groggily and Thorin yelps as Smaug tumbles to the floor in a heap of pillows and fur, his tiny paws thrashing wildy as he tries to flip himself over.

Thorin points towards the ferret weakly and buries his hands into his thick hair, scrunching it up in anxiety.

Bilbo gasps out an incredulous laugh and hurries over to the excited animal, placing the light on the floor.

"Smaug, you little demon! How did you get out?", Bilbo admonishes as he scoops up the little thing and strides over to the cage.

Once Smaug was situated inside, scratching wildly against the bars Bilbo turned to Thorin with a guilty expression on his face.

"I am so sorry, are you alright?", Bilbo asks quietly and Thorin looks up. Bilbo must've flicked on the lights and Thorin blinks against it.

He regards Bilbo for a second before exhaling through his nose and nodding sharply. He releases the grip on his hair and looks around at the mess he created.

They sit in silence for a few seconds and a quick glance towards the clock tells Thorin that it's five thirty.

Bilbo breaks the silence.

"Tea?".

"Yes please".

End.

**Author's Note:**

> So basically what happened is almost everything that happened in this fic, except for the fact that I'm not a rich CEO and my sister isn't Bilbo Baggins XD
> 
> I hope you enjoyed and feel free to leave a comment or kudos :D


End file.
